Thinking of baby number 2

" The days are long, but the years are short" Gretchen Rubin

This quote summarizes motherhood. It summarizes, at least for me, the basic notion of motherhood, the reality of our days and the bittersweetness,(??) of passing time.

Lately, my mind has been on time, as you can tell by the quote above. The time that I'm spending with Bella, the time that daddy spends with her and the time that we spend together, as a family of 3. It's meaningful to both of us that her day is filled with us, and last week as we made it to Hobby Lobby I bought some items for her second birthday, it hit me. My baby is going to be 2 in 4 months. Really?! When did this happen?!  

And....

When did my 6.5 lbs, full of hair baby get so big? Where did the baby that only cried for seconds and had no voice go? Where is my tiny 18" babe?

I'm blessed to say that she is a walking, screaming (this is why we call her Bells), singing  full of life toddler, but I won't lie, I miss my baby.

And then the thoughts of baby # dos comes? We have been talking more about this lately, becoming a family of 4. Giving  Miss Bells a sister or a brother. 

--- Insert a terrified mama---

Take away all the scary things like pregnancy, delivery, financial worries and having an actually newborn, the thing that terrifies us the most is time. How is Bella going to feel and react to the idea that our time will have to be shared?

Bella is a social butterfly, in love with kids and babies of all ages. She has never reacted badly to me holding a baby or anything for that matter, but my mama heart does worry.

Will I damage her forever? Dramatic, a bit, but none the less it worries me.

How will she feel, how will it affect her and will she even care?

When we talked about babies, we always said we wanted them to be close in age. We were going to start trying for a second baby  when Bella turned 18 months. It made sense she was going to be well in her twos when the baby was born, allowing for a small age gap. 

 But, 18 months came and passed and we were not ready, I don't think we are ready now either, and time is the key component.

As much as we really want another baby I wonder if we will ever be ready. But then, is anyone really?

And then we think about the joy she has brought. Bella is a shining light. She makes everything fun and is usually cracking up at the smallest thing. We cant help but  imagine another little person that brings us so much joy and happiness.  She has also taught us to love more and another baby will just add to that.

We thought we were ready for Bella and she changed every piece of the puzzle and maybe even the puzzle itself and we loved it and another baby will do the same! Change everything we thought was perfect and actually make it perfect.

If you're a mom when did you start talking about baby #2?Is a small age gap good or the more apart the are the better?  Where you ready? Any tips?

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!